Splice...

More like slice my eyeballs out...

IPJ and I saw Splice on Friday. Both of us wish we hadn't. I spent $13.00 to see a movie that put Species and five different Greek Tragedies together and called it a "Sci-fi Horror." It seemed like a good idea at the time. We were both bored and had a free afternoon.

Please don't see this movie...It's just weird and makes you feel squeamishly awkward countless times. And scary? Not this movie. I laughed more than I felt suspense or anxiety. Over all, it was pretty pointless. At least we had fun together.

The whole time I kept thinking "Why aren't they splicing fruits or vegetables?" That's completely harmless. No one can be hurt and they're not pushing any moral boundaries. It seems that's all the movie was relying on; you to be shocked with moral outrage in hopes that you won't notice the giant plot problems. We noticed. (Plus, who wouldn't want to try a strawnana or a pearrot?)

I leave you humming "If I Could Turn Back Time." Man, I wish that I could....

Late Night Prattle

When I was little I used to watch a lot of movies with my family. I used to do one thing all the time, but only if I had seen the movie before. If there was a part coming up that scared me, I would run and hide until that part was over.

Example: in Sleeping Beauty I would run and hide when Maleficent yelled at her trolls or became the dragon.
Example 2: in Home Alone I hid when the basement heater came alive.

That's what I always did until I was old enough to not be scared anymore. Now I have no reaction when I watch those parts. However, that reaction changed to something else when I was a little older. In Jr high I would leave the room when a character in a movie was about to make a bad decision or be embarrassed in any way.

Example: in Ever After I would leave the room when Henry turns his back on Danielle at the ball.
Example 2: in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion I would always conveniently "need something from upstairs" when Romy told the group of cheerleaders she invented post-its.

I guess I didn't want to see people hurt or embarrassed. It just makes me feel really uncomfortable. Maybe it's my old age, or maybe I'm just lazy, but I never get up and leave for any reason. There are a few movies that I will turn off though.

Example: in Moulin Rouge as soon as the curtain falls on their show I turn the movie off. In my version Satine never dies.
Example 2: Somewhere in Time is turned off before he finds the present day penny and is sent back to his time.

So, I still don't deal with bad scenes, but I don't have to leave the room anymore.

I leave you (but not the room) humming "We Gotta Get out of This Place."