Another "What not to do..."

I began typing this post while still on the phone with the patron.

Conversation goes as follows:

Me: Ticket Services, how can I help you?
Patron: Hello, do I order tickets through you or can I just buy these online.
Me: You can do either. I see you're already holding seats in your cart; you can just complete the order online. Or, you can remove those seats from your cart and purchase them over the phone with me.
Patron: Do I have to give you all my information that the computer is asking me for? Can't I just say I want them held at the box office under my name?
Me: Yes you'll have to give me the same information you would give our system. No matter how you complete your order we will need a billing address to go along with the credit card used.
Patron: Oh, well I'll just do it on here then...
Me: Great! If you need any other assistance please contact Ticket Services and we can answer any of your questions.
Patron: No wait! I need you to stay on the line with me while I register!
Me: Oooookaaaaay. I'll stay on the line.

Patron proceeds to spend the next 8-10 minutes muttering under his breath about the step by step registration process. Coming on every other minute to assure himself that I'm still there.

Finally, he gets to the end and can't understand why he can't click on the word "receipt" to print. I have to explain to him you are supposed to print the whole page, which acts as a receipt. He spends another minute still not understanding until he reads out loud "Please, print this page for your own records."

13.) Do not make someone in customer service stay on the line with you unnecessarily. There is no reason to keep someone on the line because you're registering on the website. I don't know you or any of your private information. How is there any possible way I can help? There's isn't. You have to pull up your big kid pants and do this on your own. Thanks to you there are 8 minutes of my life that were spent listening to you put all of your information into a website. I wouldn't even allow family to do that to me. 8 minutes wasted, because of you.

I leave you humming "All the Wasted Time."

I've past the 100th!

I didn't even realize it but this is my 102nd post on this blog. I think I've been pretty successful at keeping my blog going. When I started in August, I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to keep it up. But here we are, 6 months and 102 entries later, still going strong.

I like having an outlet to talk about things in my life. (Or a place to post random nothings that tickle my fancy.) I also got my sister, Kate blogging again. I now know what's going on in her life, which is great because I forget to call her all the time.

I'm glad that you've stuck around through everything with me. Just think about all those good times:

*You met the Chinese von Trapps with me.
*We have lived through multiple World Wars with my roommates.
*You learned that despite what others might say, the pygmy hippo is really darn cute.
*The Yankees won the World Series and we celebrated together, while lamenting the fact that we couldn't go to the Ticker Tape Parade (or if you're me; the Tinker Toy Parade.)
*You were there when I celebrated the big two four and got my picture taken with firemen.
*Remember how loyal you were when I moved my blog due to my "Happy" stalker?
*I was able to teach you what NOT to do when talking to someone in Customer Service.
*We watched the "Total Eclipse of the Heart: Literal Version" video together over, and over, and over, and over again. Honestly we'll probably go look at it again today.
*I have given you multiple Zombie lessons in preparation of the eventual apocalypse.
*You have realized that I have met my one true love and soul mate; Avatar.

So, thank you. Stick with me and we'll make many more beautiful memories together.

I leave you humming "Looks Like We Made It."

And.....We're Back.

I flew in from Ohio this morning. I was up at 3:30 and my Popo Jijo got me to the airport by 5:25. Thanks Popo, I'm glad you were driving through the bad weather, and not me.

I'm pretty tired today and I'm disenchanted with New York City right now. I know it's only because I'm tired and slightly grumpy. Everything seems louder and smellier and dirtier..... I walked to the subway and I was overwhelmed by the smell of poop. Then for the next 30 seconds I was convinced I had stepped in it. I even checked both shoes to make sure. Well, I hadn't stepped in it (thankfully.) I'll get over this dissatisfaction soon; I just think I'm missing my family already. Also, it's always so shocking to go from rural Ohio to urban New York City. I'll get over it.

In the mean time, I'm at work and trying to make the best of it. However, I do have one more to add to the "What Not to Do when Dealing with Customer Service" list.

12.) Do not make joke, after joke, after joke, etc. You're really not as funny as you think you are. For example, when I say "Ok, you're all set. Can I help you with anything else today?" Do not respond with "Well, can you give me a raise or are you a good divorce lawyer?" I will earnestly reply, "None of the above, sir. Have a nice day," and lose all respect for you.

So, here we are, back again. The after holidays blues and a cloudy, more annoying than usual Monday. Oh, Master Robin, ain't it good to be home?!

I leave you humming "Back in the Saddle Again."

Has that ever happened to you?

So, yesterday at work a woman on the phone called me inhumane. Actually, she said my treatment of her was inhumane. I still am scratching my head trying to figure out how that's possible. All I was asking from her was a new date to exchange her tickets into. Someone tell why that is inhumane....

I was just wondering if this is a word that's used freely. I guess I don't understand, based on the definition, how my treatment of her situation was inhumane. Let's look:

in⋅hu⋅mane: Pronunciation [in-hyoo-meyn or, often, -yoo-]

-adjective- not humane; lacking humanity, kindness, compassion, etc.

I was incredibly sweet and understood her situation. Where does she get off telling me I'm inhumane?

Has that ever happened to you? I hope not. But, add this to the "What Not to Do when Dealing With Customer Service" list. 11.) Do NOT call me "inhumane" when I have done everything possible to help you, the whole time being friendly and courteous.

I leave you humming "Wicked Witch of the West Theme Song." For some reason, this is the song that pops into my head when I think about this woman. Hmmm...I wonder why.

What Not To Do

Working in customer services has taught me a lot more about how to treat people. Over the phone, when you're talking to customer servants, here are some things you should avoid.

1.) Do not call customer service and tell us to "hold on" as soon as we answer. Get your shit together and then call. We're busy people just like everyone else in the working world. We hate twiddling our thumbs waiting for you. I'll hang up on you if it takes too long.
2.) Do not raise your voice in fear that we don't speak English or we're stupid. I probably speak better English than you, so stop it. Also, I'm not stupid. If you're really old, I might have excused you, but you're probably too old to be buying tickets anyway.
3.) Do not assume we are responsible for things we had nothing to do with in the first place. "Yes, Ma'am. I understand that. But, no matter what anyone else in the Theater told you, everyone has to pay that $5.00 per ticket processing fee. We make no exceptions. We just sell the tickets ma'am, we don't decide on the processing fees."
4.) Do not start spouting out random ID or Order numbers when we pick up the phone. I am not a robot, and I certainly do not answer the phone with my fingers poised over the number keys of my keyboard.
5.) Do not issue threats to us when you don't get your way. For example: "Well, I've been a member for years and I've never been treated this way, I want to talk to your manager about you." Or my personal favorite: "What do you mean it's too late to exchange my tickets??!! I'm a member!!! If you don't exchange my tickets I'm going to bring my kid with pink eye to the theater. Do you want that?!!!"
6.) Do not insult our intelligence. Just because I choose to work in Ticket Services, means nothing. I probably have had more schooling than you and a heck of a lot more common sense than you. I bet I make more money than you, and I don't have thousands of kids by different fathers yelling in the background of the phone call.
7.) Do not ask us if there are discounts. Do you honestly think we're going to tell you and not even make you work for it? Not likely.
8.) Do not speed through your order. This isn't a race and you won't receive a prize if you finish your order in less than 2 minutes. Again, I am not a robot. Please call when you have the time to actually do an order.
9.) Do not ask our names when you think we've told you the wrong information. "Umm...and this is your general ticket exchange policy?" Me:"Yes, it is." "So if I call back tomorrow and ask again, it's still going to be the same." Me: "Yes, it is." "Okay.....and what's your name?" I know that I'm right, but half the time I want to give you a false name. "It's Thomacina."
10.) Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT call and say that the person you talked to before told you something different. I can see who put your order together, you moron. In fact, I actually remember speaking to you. Even if it wasn't me, I work in the same room as all the other associates. Don't try to tell me you didn't know our policy or that it wasn't explained to you. I did myself!

So, please follow these rules and I will be nice, courteous and give you good seats. Honestly, if you treat me like crap, I am 1.) less likely to do any favors for you and 2.) more likely to give you the worst of our full view seats. "No, I'm sorry. We don't have anything closer than that."

I leave you humming "Chain Gang."