Really Facebook Ad?

Here's one of the advertisements on the side of my Facebook profile:

Rich Man Needs a Princess
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Yeah, words can't express...
 
I leave you humming "If I Were a Rich Man."

On a clear day you REALLY can see forever!

As many of you might know they are doing a revival of On a Clear Day You Can See Forever on Broadway. Now, many people do not know this musical but with a name like Harry Connick, Jr. on the marquee it should do just fine. Our building happens to have amazing studios for Broadway show rehearsals and just happens to be housing rehearsals for On a Clear Day You Can See Forever.

Thus begins one of the best moments of my life:

It had been a long and hard day when BB stepped onto the elevator from the top floor of her building. With her were 2 coworkers (one of boss ranking). She pushed the first floor button praying that it wouldn't stop the whole way down so that she could get to the train (and, subsequently, home) faster. Of course, her express elevator prayers went unanswered as they stopped on the 8th floor to let on another coworker. BB made a small joke about how it was no longer possible to get down to the lobby in under a minute. The elevator stops again. But this time the doors opened to Harry Connick, Jr. Of course, this time no one made a joke as Mr. Connick, Jr. stepped onto the elevator.

BB said "Hi, there" before she could stop herself and Harry (you can use first names after you've physically spoken to a celebrity) said "Hey" back. Boss ranking coworker made a comment that Harry hadn't been able to finish his lunch, because he was carrying a container of salad. He said that it was actually his 5th lunch of the day and, of course, the whole elevator guffawed at his amazing wit. BB told him that it looked good and Harry responded that he was "tired of eating this shit" and that "they made him eat that stuff" so that he "didn't gain weight." The whole elevator laughed again and immediately lost their hearts to this tall, attractive (but tragically) meat and potato-less man. BB said that she was sorry and almost swooned when Harry smiled at her in response.

The elevator got to the first floor and everyone filed out, Harry leading the way. BB and her coworker (from the 8th floor) were the last out. BB grabbed his shoulder and whispered "This was the best moment of my life." Her coworker said, "Yeah, so totally worth the crappy day I had, just for that moment."

Agreed. I danced down the street and immediately called my Mom to tell her. It was magic.

I leave you humming "This Magic Moment."

I'm sorry...what?

I had to share this.

James Franco and Praxis have joined together to create a museum called "MONA." It stands for "Museum of Non-Visible Art." If you haven't put two and two together yet, it's a museum of invisible art.

Yep, that's right. You would walk into the gallery and look at a card describing the "art" that you're supposed to be imagining. You would PAY to see this "art."

Their page on KiskStarter says, "Although the artworks themselves are not visible, the descriptions open our eyes to a parallel world built of images and words."

This sounds like the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Really, I know I'm from the Midwest, but come on. Even I'm not mesmerized by this part of the "big city."



Oil Painting - "James Franco's Credibility Going Down the Toilet."

I leave you humming "Imagine."

Rapture? My Foot!

I'm sure I'm not the first person to say it; the world is not going to end on Saturday. End of story. Done. Really, the Rapture people in Times Square have it all wrong and I think we ALL agree on that. Things they haven't thought about:

1. Why didn't they quit their jobs?
2. Why did they pay their cable and utility bills?
3. Why aren't they giving away all of their money and worldly possessions?
4. If they're so sure that they're going to "ascend" on Saturday, how are they going to feel waking up on Sunday morning un-ascended?? Oh yeah, supposedly if you don't "ascend" you will spend the next few months writhing in agony in the mud until the world "officially" ends in October.
5. Why are they still preaching in Times Square? Shouldn't they be off with the other "ascending" people getting ready to...well..."ascend?"
6. Why do they have to sound so crazy when they're talking about it? Shouldn't they appear to be logical to get other people to join their cause? They're just attracting other crazies...oh wait....never mind about that one.
7. How do they suggest we "save" ourselves?
8. Do they have a backup plan for when they all wake up on Sunday morning and the world is still here and all the sinners are still sinning? Didn't think so.

Also, if the world is going to end, we all know it's going to be ended by a Zombie Apocalypse. Check out the awesome trailer for this new game coming out later this year. Click here. Mom, you might want to skip this one.

I leave you humming "Final Countdown."

What....is....that?

WHAT WAS SHE THINKING??!!

I don't know when this picture of Aretha Franklin was taken, but I have to thank He Who Laughs (or hate him) for sending it to me.

I'm equally sorry to burn your retinas. Does she have no respect for herself....?

I leave you humming "Respect." (Did you see how I set that one up?)

Ding-Dong, bin Laden's Dead!

I know, I know.

This is what everyone is talking about, blogging about and reading about. But, how can I not write about it myself? This is a part of what defines my generation.

These are the reasons people my age are celebrating (i.e. going to Ground Zero, the White House and Times Square):

1. Many 20-something people were in grade school through high school when 9/11 happened. This is something that we've been dealing with as we became adults. There hasn't been one second of my adult life that our country hasn't been at war with terrorists.

2. This is something that we said we were going to do. We said, directly following the murder of our citizens on 9/11, that we would bring those responsible to justice. When we say we're going to do something we do it. Yes, it took longer than it should have, but it's done.

3. This man represents every nightmare many of us had growing up. He was the leader of the Al Qaeda (which I had never ever heard of before) and the man responsible for the death of over 3,000 Americans. I know that the War on Terrorism isn't over, but this is the end of one chapter in this long and tragic book. In my opinion, a chapter that has gone on way too long.

4. We're not celebrating the death of a human. We're celebrating the idea that justice was served to a terrorist with the blood of over 3,000 Americans on his hands. September 11, 2001 marked the day that America was attacked on such a destructive level that it exceeded the destruction of Pearl Harbor.

5. This doesn't mean the end of the war, or terrorism, or even the end of the Al Qaeda. I don't care. This could be the beginning of a string of retaliation attempts. I don't care. For once, we as Americans have the chance to truly celebrate patriotism, our troops and the beginnings of, what could be, the end of many evil things on this earth.

6. On a lighter note, May 1st will mark yet another Anniversary. On May 1, 1945 it was also announced that Hitler had committed suicide. (Also, the Battle of Hogwarts started on May 1st and ended on May 2nd when Harry Potter defeated and killed Voldemort.) Coincidence? I think not. April is the worst month, May must be the best.

I leave you humming "Proud to be an American." Because it's been stuck in my head all day.

The Dueling Pianos

Yes, I, BB have now been to my first Dueling Pianos Bar. It was an experience, let me tell you.

The concept: there are these two piano players that, over the course of the night, play any song you request (with monetary donation, of course). For this to successfully work you must have the following:

1. Money. Specifically, you should have an assortment of bills; some fives, ones, a ten and at least one twenty. You write your first and second choice of songs on a slip of paper and take your money and request up to the pianists. You can put it on the piano or (depending on how much you have had to drink) hand it right to them so they are forced to address your request.

2. Some really good song choices. Say that you don't have much money but you want them to play your request. You need to pick a song that one of these 2 pianists is going to love playing and that everyone in the bar would want to hear. Then you're guaranteed your song played with even a small tip.

3. Awesome piano players. The two guys were the best possible mix of comedy and musical talent. They kept us laughing all night and they could both sing and play the piano like pros. I didn't regret the money I spent on their tips/my song requests.

4. The best company ever. We went for Nicky T's Birthday celebration. She was awesome, the people she invited were awesome and I was awesome. We all worked together to ensure this to be a Birthday she would never forget.

5. Guts and Glory. They did this thing called "out bidding" someone else's song. For example, say John Smith (not from Pocahontas) gave them $15 to play a horrible country song that no one recognizes and no one wants to. You can run up with $20 and a different request and they will immediately stop playing John Smith's song. That's exactly what happened when I ran up with my $20 and the song request "Renegade" by the STYX. Allow yourself to be the center of attention for less than a minute and you will feel much better about ruining someone else's song request.

Besides, I did the world (especially that bar) a favor by stopping that song. "Renegade" is so much better.

6. (Optional) Alcohol. We had some that were drinking and some that weren't, and we all had a ton of fun. We had the most fun watching the antics of one Birthday girl, Jamie, who was not a part of our party but that was seriously entertaining to watch drunk dancing on the stage for the last half of the night.

Also, I have to give props to the gay guy that convinced his shwasted friend to remove her bra (underneath her shirt, so no nudity, thank God) on stage in front of a whole bar of strangers. Then convince her to swing it around above her head and throw it into the audience. Good for you.

There you have it. Dueling Pianos = Awesome.

I leave you humming "Piano Man" (like I could pick anything else).

Wonderland? More like Awfuland.

So....I saw Wonderland last week. It was truly one of the worst shows I have ever seen. The plot was horrible and the writing was even worse. Usually the music of a show has the ability to save a show in some small way. In this case, the show was 10 times worse because of the music. I'd like to find Frank Wildhorn and shake him, asking, "What the hell happened and are you a pod person??? Because this music is not Frank Wildhorn's music, it can't be!" This music could not have come from the same man who made us weep with Civil War and be titillated with Jekyll & Hyde. Impossible!

My sister and I spent the last 10 minutes of the play laughing. We weren't laughing at moments that were deliberately humorous, we were laughing because it was THAT bad. Please don't pay to see this show. In fact, don't even see it for free unless you want to see the worst show on Broadway right now. I don't know what they were trying to accomplish with this show but they epically failed. The only redeeming song was "One Knight" because:

Well, you can see why. Also, it was the only song that was intentionally stupid.

I leave you humming "A Very Merry Unbirthday" because it will be a very unmerry unbirthday if you spend 2 hours and 20 minutes of your life seeing this show.

Unbelievable...

Some people should never be allowed to have children. You don't have to watch the whole video, the beginning minute will give you the gist.  This incident happened a year ago:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The worst thing is these people believe that they deserve to continue raising this baby. My question is; what were they doing when the baby got out of the house? Another question springs to mind as well; how the heck did she get out of the house in the first place? All these questions and no answers for me. I think these people are crazy and they shouldn't be allowed to raise children. EVER.

I don't understand!

I leave you humming Pat Benatar's "Hell Is For Children."

This is TOO creepy...

Sorry IPJ. I know I shouldn't just post video after video but I had to share this one:



I leave you humming "Thriller."

That's some bad crack....

Just close your eyes and listen. You have to be patient, the main event happens about midway through it. But you need to let it build up until that moment. Once that moment is over (I promise you'll know what it is when you hear it) you can feel free to rewind it as many times as you need to just so you can laugh at that poor girl again and again (I promise you'll want to).



This is for TK who showed this to me two years ago. Thank you for keeping the magic alive!

I leave you humming anything that doesn't sound like the video above.

Unbelievable...

I can't believe that the U.S. Hockey Team won a game against Canada's. It was just a preliminary game so it didn't count for much. But, I don't think we've beat Canada in hockey since 1960 or something. That's a long time to continually lose to Canada. We all know how Canadians are about their hockey...scary. I bet Canada is really pissed at us right now.

My roommates and I watched the last minute of the game. Both teams were trying so hard; the Americans to stay ahead and the Canadians to get ahead. It seemed like a very good fight.

If both teams do well enough, there's a good chance they'll play again. Who knows, team Canada might retaliate in a devastating way and beat the crap out of our team. Until then, Canadians will be licking their wounds from this loss in their beloved sport.

I leave you humming "Sucks To Be You."

Unbelievable!

I found the above while looking for the one below:



I don't know which one is more unbelievable; that 15 year old Charice Pempengco sings like a 35 year old black woman or that Miss Arkansas 1994 thinks that she can. You decide.

Also, a BIG thank you to IPJ for introducing me to Miss Arkansas 1994.

It's obvious what you should be humming.

Balancing Act

Reinhard Krause / Reuters

I don't even want to think about the physics involved.

I leave you humming "Man on the Flying Trapeze."

Unbelievable

I can't even draw stick figures from memory.....

I leave you humming "Starry Starry Night."

Unbelievable

Someone tell me the point of this....

Who are their favorite designers, Santa Claus ablaze??!!

I leave you humming "I Touch Myself." (Now, to grasp your humanity again, read the post below this one.)

Moobs...

Jeremy Piven again.....what's with him? I just read the article entitled: Jeremy Piven Blames Soy Milk for His Man Boobs. He was quoted saying "I was the guy that dabbled in soya milk, but now I've found out soya milk has enough estrogen for me to grow breasts; I had to put the soya milk down. It was a very confusing time." What??!! That makes no sense. Actually that's like saying too much sushi gives you mercury poisoning. Oh wait, Jeremy Piven said that too.

This man is unbelievable. First, to even use mercury poisoning as an excuse to back out of a Broadway show is already bad enough. The fact that he thinks he can get away with it again is just ridiculous.

Dear Mr. Piven,

Dude, just own up to the fact that you don't go to the gym as much as you should and that resulted in your new man boobs. Take pride in the fact that you're probably enjoying food enough to gain weight. Your more "Pillsbury Doughboy" look doesn't look that bad. Honestly, we wouldn't have noticed you had moobs if you hadn't said anything about them. You haven't been seen or heard from since your "mercury poisoning" incident and your career has been almost non-existent. Not that we want to see you, mind you. We've had enough of your pretentious antics. Next you'll be saying those Dum Dum suckers you've been eating have attributed to the idiotic claims you're making about food. Get over yourself and take responsibility for your life (and in this case moobs).

Sincerely,

BB

I leave you humming "You're So Vain."

Unbelievable

First off I just want to say that I do not condone animal brutality. But this blog is all about finding the humor in things. This song, in a really twisted way makes me happy. So here we go....

When I was in high school this crazy kid named Andrew used to play the weirdest music on the bus. We were both in marching band (yes, that's right, I was in the flag corps in the marching band) and he would play his cds on our way to band contests (p.s. do you want to make something of it?). One song he played was the funniest song I've ever heard. It was entitled "Dead Puppies."

I know, I know, it sounds terrible. But it really is supposed to be in good fun. I just learned the artist responsible for this is named Dr. Demento. The lyrics, in case you were wondering:

Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun
They don't come when you call
They don't chase squirrels at all
Dead puppies aren't much fun
My puppy died late last fall
He's still rotting in the hall
Dead puppies aren't much fun
Mom says puppy's days are through
She's gonna throw him in the stew
Dead puppies aren't much fun
Dead puppies
Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun, Dead puppies, Dead puppies
Dead puppies aren't much fun, Dead puppies, Dead puppies

I'm all about the weird and unusual. It's funny though, right? Well, in case you don't find it funny here is a picture of a LIVE puppy to make you feel better:

I leave you humming "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

That's a Horse of a Different Color

Please, someone, tell me how this happened:

Don't worry, Gracie the Horse was cut out of the tree with minor injuries. Those being a few small cuts to her face she received from pushing her head into the hole. Silly thing. I think she was on something or at least had had too much to drink. Have you even woken up after a long night and found yourself in this situation? I hope not.

I leave you humming "Beer for my Horses."

Unbelievable

                                                                 Phichaiyong Mayerku / Reuters

They make prosthetic legs for elephants now. I love elephants. Aren't they cute? Now they can live longer when they have injuries like this. Before they would have put this animal down because there would be no way for her to defend herself in the wild. Now she can go on living and having a marvelous time!

I leave you humming "Born Free."