Point 50: World, Point 2: BB

This is the most nightmarish week I've ever experienced...maybe in my whole life. And that's even counting the week I had to wrap 300 company Holiday gifts in the span of 2 days while trying to get all of my other work done.

Let's start at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start).

Kate and I are moving to Jersey [INSERT worst Jersey trash joke you can come up with HERE]. We're tired of the city and want a change in scenery for awhile. After weeks of searching we found the perfect place. We were supposed to move in on January 28th to this newly renovated dream.

PROBLEM 1: This week we found out that our apartment won't be ready until February 15th. We still have to move out over next weekend so Kate and I will we homeless for 2 weeks. Luckily we have amazing friends that are already living in Jersey and are willing to put us up for the full 2 weeks (bless their hearts). Also, the moving company we hired can put our stuff in storage and then move it to the new place for us on the 15th.

So, we're feeling relatively better about that. Also, the new landlords have been extremely responsive and seemingly genuinely concerned about losing us as tenants. That's more than we get from the current place. Speaking of which - we've had a sublet in the apartment since December 1st. She's young and pretty cool... or so we thought.

PROBLEM 2: We've been concerned about our sublet for the last 3 days because she's been in her room every time we get home and not being responsive. I of course, thinking of the worst case scenario, have already imagined her dead in her room rotting slowly - the strong smell of her perfume covering up the smell of the 2 day young corpse....Unfortunately that's not what happened. IPJ came home last night and said to me "I've been thinking about [Name Withheld] and I think she moved out without telling us." I couldn't believe it - no - wouldn't believe it. We ran down the hall to her room and, after knocking twice and yelling her name, we opened the door. Everything was gone.
COMPLICATION 1: I immediately checked my bank account to see if the 2nd rent check she gave me (after the first one bounced) deposited ok. It didn't and, instead, followed in it's brother's footsteps by bouncing as well. So that means that I covered her rent of $675.00 this month. Great.
COMPLICATION 2: She's CLEARLY not applying for the lease in out current apartment (from hell) like she said that she was. So, I have to call the current Management Company (from hell) to make sure they know that she's NOT going to sign any lease that they send her.
COMPLICATION 3: This is about the time of year that I have some kind of mental breakdown - but boy, did this one take the cake. I called my Mom and sobbed to her on the phone for 20 minutes. I'm sure that you can imagine me sitting on the floor in the bathroom pathetically weeping to my Mom about the injustice of it all.

Also, last week I went to the doctor and he diagnosed me with extreme exhaustion and severe stress. Yep, you read that correctly. It's probably because the stress is causing me to not sleep.

PROBLEM 3: See Problem 1 and 2 and imagine how that can effect my sleep. I mis-set my alarm last night. Instead of setting it to 8:00 AM it was set to 8:00 PM. As you can imagine I didn't sleep well last night so when my alarm DIDN'T go off I did what any other exhausted and emotionally drained person would do....I slept in. This of course caused me to be 40 minutes late for work.

And the problems keep on coming....

Ok, I just had to get that off my chest. Thanks for bearing with me.

I leave you humming "Carry On (My Wayword Son)."

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I leave you humming "If I Were a Rich Man."

On a clear day you REALLY can see forever!

As many of you might know they are doing a revival of On a Clear Day You Can See Forever on Broadway. Now, many people do not know this musical but with a name like Harry Connick, Jr. on the marquee it should do just fine. Our building happens to have amazing studios for Broadway show rehearsals and just happens to be housing rehearsals for On a Clear Day You Can See Forever.

Thus begins one of the best moments of my life:

It had been a long and hard day when BB stepped onto the elevator from the top floor of her building. With her were 2 coworkers (one of boss ranking). She pushed the first floor button praying that it wouldn't stop the whole way down so that she could get to the train (and, subsequently, home) faster. Of course, her express elevator prayers went unanswered as they stopped on the 8th floor to let on another coworker. BB made a small joke about how it was no longer possible to get down to the lobby in under a minute. The elevator stops again. But this time the doors opened to Harry Connick, Jr. Of course, this time no one made a joke as Mr. Connick, Jr. stepped onto the elevator.

BB said "Hi, there" before she could stop herself and Harry (you can use first names after you've physically spoken to a celebrity) said "Hey" back. Boss ranking coworker made a comment that Harry hadn't been able to finish his lunch, because he was carrying a container of salad. He said that it was actually his 5th lunch of the day and, of course, the whole elevator guffawed at his amazing wit. BB told him that it looked good and Harry responded that he was "tired of eating this shit" and that "they made him eat that stuff" so that he "didn't gain weight." The whole elevator laughed again and immediately lost their hearts to this tall, attractive (but tragically) meat and potato-less man. BB said that she was sorry and almost swooned when Harry smiled at her in response.

The elevator got to the first floor and everyone filed out, Harry leading the way. BB and her coworker (from the 8th floor) were the last out. BB grabbed his shoulder and whispered "This was the best moment of my life." Her coworker said, "Yeah, so totally worth the crappy day I had, just for that moment."

Agreed. I danced down the street and immediately called my Mom to tell her. It was magic.

I leave you humming "This Magic Moment."

I knew it! I knew you were bluffing! I knew he was bluffing...

Dear Copper Chimney,

I've been watching you this whole time. Ever since you made me convulsively vomit for 12 hours straight, I've been waiting for your grade to get posted. Never, in my whole life, have I ever been as sick as I was after eating your food. I kept checking the NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene site waiting for your grade to be posted. For a whole year it was marked "Grade Pending." Many people believe that it means the Health Department hasn't gotten around to checking your restaurant yet. But I know that it means you received a low grade and have disputed the Health Department's claim. I knew it was only a matter of time before you were shown for what you really are: a cesspool of filth and disease forcing illness upon people.

So, imagine my pure elation when I looked on the website today and saw:

Also, few people realize that the reasons you got that grade are posted on the website as well. Let's take a look, shall we?

COPPER CHIMNEY

126 EAST 28 STREET MANHATTAN 10016


Tip! "Critical" violations are displayed in red.
Violation points: 28

Sanitary Violations

1) Cold food item held above 41º F (smoked fish and reduced oxygen packaged foods above 38 ºF) except during necessary preparation.
2) Raw, cooked or prepared food is adulterated, contaminated, cross-contaminated, or not discarded in accordance with HACCP plan.
3) Evidence of mice or live mice present in facility's food and/or non-food areas.
4) Facility not vermin proof. Harborage or conditions conducive to attracting vermin to the premises and/or allowing vermin to exist.

Surprisingly you got your violation points down from the 39 you had when I got sick. The only "Critical" Violation that has gone is the "Personal cleanliness inadequate. Outer garment soiled with possible contaminant. Effective hair restraint not worn in an area where food is prepared." Should I congratulate you on that? I think not.


So, thank you once again for contaminating my chicken that night. I was forced to take off 3 days of work because of how sick you made me and I will probably never be able to eat (my once beloved) Indian food again. You suck, and it's not surprising that you got a "C" because good will always triumph over evil (the evil is you, in case you were wondering).

I'll hate you for the rest of your short life,

BB

P.S. I leave you humming Avril Lavigne's "My Happy Ending."

And In Other News...

Irene was a tropical storm when it hit New York. That's it. I told everyone not to worry about it, but did they listen? Nope. Not that I blame them. It's easy to get caught up in an impending natural disaster that might hit New York. Nothing ever happens here, so people need to overreact when something finally does.

I refused to take this threat serious enough to even take the air conditioner out of my window. How was I supposed to sleep in a stuffy room? I'd rather my air conditioner be ripped out of the window than sleep the whole night without it.

Even though I knew this whole thing was going to blow over (pun intended) without completely destroying Manhattan, my roommates and I prepared a bit on Saturday:

1. We filled up one bathtub with water (for flushing purposes).
2. We filled up all of our water bottles with water (filtered at Ian's insistence).
3. We took the window fans out of the living room windows (making the living room too stuffy for my liking).
4. Ian bought fixings for chocolate chip cookies (which he made before the "hurricane" began, YAY).
5. Kate and I went to Grestides to get groceries and yet bought nothing non-perishable accept a few ingredients for my pasta bake (which I cooked up later, voiding their non-perishable status).
6. I invited my sister over to watch movies and eat my pasta bake.
7. Kate and I made an emergency run back to Gristedes to buy chocolate bars for the S'mores we decided we NEEDED to make.
8. We found whatever flashlights and candles we had and brought them in to the living room (meager findings, believe me).
9. We all overate all day. "If it's the end of the world, I'm going to go out like a glutton." So, says I.
10. Stayed up late watching movies and then finally went to bed.

I woke up Sunday morning at 9:15 and realized that I had completely missed Irene. She came and went with barely a whisper to rouse me from my slumber. I got up and made french toast for everyone (including my sister who had stayed the night) using the power that hadn't gone out, drinking the water that hadn't stopped, and enjoying the absence of the sound of the M-4 Buses that stop in front of our apartment. It was wonderful. I stayed the whole day inside watching episodes of Battlestar Galactica and movies that have been neglected for far too long, all the while saying that the storm was what was keeping me from venturing out into the world. I didn't leave my apartment all day. Glorious, truly glorious.

I hope everyone who reads my blog had as easy a time weathering the storm (pun intended again) as I did.

I leave you humming "Stormy Weather."

Why does it have to end?

I was on vacation for 8 days down in Florida. Yes, I went to Disney World and yes, I went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Universal's Islands of Adventure theme park. I loved every minute of my vacation with my family. How many people can say that? I'm sure not many. It was the best possible vacation I could have ever asked for.

Of course, I hoped for a easy transition back to New York, work, responsibility and the "real world." Did I get it? Absolutely not!

It was raining and thunderstorming in New York when we flew in. The assistant to the President is out and I have to cover for her. I have to pay all my bills in the next 2 weeks. My laptop is dying and probably had a horrible virus that no Malware, Adware or Virus scans can find. I got stuck in an elevator in New Jersey for like 10-15 minutes on Independence day (tiny elevator with 9 adults and no ventilation).

The World slapped me right in the face with reality. There goes my post-vacation high. Now, I'm hinging on depression and I want dessert with every meal. (We were on the dining plan at Disney which meant every lunch and dinner meal came with entree, drink and dessert.) I'm trying to find a way to visit home and my parents in September so I can give myself something to look forward to. I'm going vacation crazy right now!! It's all I want, freedom from my life.

However, I did score one point because nothing bad happened to me in Disney World. I wish I could go back.

Point 6: World, Point 2: BB

I leave you humming "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes."

We'll Follow the Old Man....

Yesterday was Father's Day and I'd like to dedicate this post to mine.

Musicals that my Dad and I sing together:

Jesus Christ Superstar - I'm Judas and Mary and he's Jesus.
Newsies - I'm Jack and David and he's everyone else.
Rent - he's all chorus and I'm everyone else.
Into the Woods - I'm the Baker's Wife and he's whoever he wants to be in the moment, but not a moment in the woods.
Man of La Mancha - He sings the "Impossible Dream," I sing everything else.
Wicked - He just listens to me sing.

Reasons he's the best dad ever:

1. He makes me laugh with his silly jokes and he laughs at mine.
2. He puts up with my ridiculous nickname for him (Popo Jijo).
3. He's also Super Dad, who can aid any daughter at anytime, anywhere.
4. He always gives me hugs when I want them.
5. He is a huge part of my evacuation from NYC plan. Actually, he's a vital part of it. I'm not forgetting that he's head of the Anti-Zombie Strike Force either.
6. He taught me a fine appreciation of all things Sci-fi.
7. He never got annoyed when I would follow him around the house singing "The Old Man" from White Christmas. (He would, however, retreat into the bathroom where I would NOT follow him. So, the song is actually wrong about "following the old man wherever he wants to go...")
8. He taught me how to ride a bike. (Even though you lied about holding on to the bike, I forgive you. Because you said that I was "pedaling too fast for you to keep up with me."
9. He is the ultimate guru of all things History and he's passed on that love to me.
10. He is my Popo Jijo.

So, Happy Father's Day Dad!!!

I leave you humming "The Old Man" from White Christmas.