Eleven Years of Change

A lot can happen in eleven years. I think about where I was eleven years ago today. Unfortunately, I remember perfectly, because today is 9/11.

Then, I was in Ohio in an Algebra class, which I hated every moment of. Most days I would have given anything to get out of that class. The teacher was one of the football coaches and he and I didn't exactly see eye to eye. That morning the Assistant Principal came by and told our teacher to turn on the news because a plane had just hit the World Trade Center in New York. We turned on the TV and watched as the second plane hit. Maybe it has to do with my Dad being a cop, maybe it has to do with my weird "worst case" scenarioism, but I immediately knew it wasn't accidental. I changed classes - English was up. We continued watching as the towers fell and I cried for the first time at school in probably four years. Kids started being picked up by their parents and no work was done in any of my remaining classes. We changed classes, our eyes continually glued to the TVs around the school, walking like zombies through the halls. I couldn't deal with the complete loss of life I was seeing. I knew there were many still trapped as the towers fell.

That year would turn out to be the roughest year of my schooling years; less than five months before a close friend of mine was in a horrible accident and killed. I was overwhelmed with feelings of my own mortality and an intense paranoia of everything around me. Only a Sophomore in high school, I became obsessed with death, constantly telling my family that I loved them - "just in case." I would have nightmares and wake up crying. I remember my Dad coming into my room on the worst night to hold me, his (almost) 16 year old daughter, as I cried because he could hear me from his room. I'm grateful for my parents and their patience with me through that year. My Mom was always supportive and the best listener I could have asked for. My sisters even took a year off from picking on me, until things went back to normal. Which they did, and I became a pretty well-adjusted and happy teenager.

Now, I live in New Jersey and work in New York City. I know people and love people here. On a daily basis I am surrounded by people who were here on September 11th, 2001. This day for them is something entirely different than what it is for me. My time in New York has allowed me the honor of watching the Freedom Tower be built. It will be beautiful and hopefully fill both a physical and emotional void in lower Manhattan. The skyline of New York has forever changed, but finally we've passed the 10 year mark and we're doing okay at the 11th. There will come a time when there won't be anyone left on this earth that was alive for the attack, but those lost will always be remembered. Especially by the girl from Ohio whose whole life veered out of control for one year.

I am thankful for the people in my life. To my family and friends, I love you, unconditionally without the "just in case" scenario.

I leave you humming "Skyscraper." Please don't judge me - it's a good song by a less than good performer.