Thursday, November 5, 2009

Nightmare on 171st Street

I had a nightmare in the early hours of this morning. I'm not one to have nightmares. When I got to be a certain age I just started warping my dreams the way I wanted them to go. Adding things or making bad things go away. This morning was different; I couldn't change anything. I just had to watch everything unfold with no control, like a spectator watching some horrific accident unfold before their eyes.

The dream was set in either a different world or a post-apocalyptic Earth (don't worry, it wasn't the zombie apocalypse). There was a big group of us all living together and trying to survive together. We arrive to a big house in the middle of nowhere. There was something that we needed from the house, which incidentally enough, looked like my Grandma's house in Ohio. The men of our group decided they were going to go in and get whatever it was we needed. But, you could tell that it would mean a lot of them were not going to survive and come back to us.

My Dad volunteered to go with the group. Why wouldn't he? It's my Dad, and in my mind he will always be the brave hero from my childhood. He's that way in real life and he's that way in my dreams. The men separate from the group and go into the house. This is when the dream gets weird and I lost control.

The house turned into a giant forest. It was so dense you couldn't see anything past the first line of trees and vines. All we can hear are sounds of a huge fight. We don't know what's going on or who's going to come out. Suddenly the trees part and vehicles start driving out of the forest. Everyone realizes quickly that these are our guys driving out victorious. But, I just as quickly realize my Dad's car isn't among them and neither is he.

I see people shaking their head "no" and it hits me. My Dad isn't coming back. The dream then pushed me out of my body and I ended the dream looking on at myself as a third party witness. I watched myself collapse down to my knees and begin to sob. I guess that image was too much because the next thing I knew, I was awake. I sat up in bed, my heart pounding and very close to tears.

I called my Dad on the phone today and he's fine. But, I really don't have nightmares anymore, so this was such a weird situation for me. From now on, I'd like to keep in control of my dreams.

I leave you humming "Fire and Rain."

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