Like you need that much space...

Dear Men On The Subway,

I can't understand why you sit with your legs open wide enough for a semi to drive through. Your junk cannot be THAT big. Come on. I don't believe it and neither do you, if you're honest with yourself. Now, I'm willing to accept that it isn't as comfortable for you to have your legs together as it is for me, but that doesn't mean that you can take up two seats (one for you and one for your junk).

How many more times are you going to make me sit on the edge of my seat so your leg doesn't rub against mine? It's rude. I don't take up any extra space and you shouldn't either. It's just getting stupid now.

And don't think I didn't notice you too, Boys On The Subway. Just because you're small and sort of cute (sometimes) I'm not going to cut you any slack. You're learning it from your fathers and brothers and you shouldn't be.

This has become problematic.

Seriously perturbed,

BB

P.S. I leave you humming "Don't Fence Me In."