This morning I was sitting on the train on my way downtown to work. It's a Monday morning, I'm grumpy and I'm not really looking forward to work. I actually get a seat, which is remarkable. I'm sitting there trying to listen to my music, but not blowing out my eardrums. I don't really want to be deaf by the time I'm 40, so I keep my MP3 player at a moderate volume. So, I'm sitting there trying to enjoy "Heart to Hart" from 9 to 5 and my luck runs out.
I hear someone singing "Stand by Me" on my car. Very loudly and it's getting louder by the second. That's when I realize it's horribly out of tune and my ears start bleeding. Well, maybe they don't bleed, but they want to. I realize as he gets closer to me he's holding out a ball cap for money. He's asking us to pay him for that crap??
Unfortunately, he stops in front of my group of seats and finishes the song. He goes into his speech, saying how "he's sorry if he's bothering anyone" claiming he's using his "God given talent" to make some money.
I wanted to tell him (in this order):
1. Never sing again.
2. You're bothering everyone.
3. If that's a God given talent, I've lost faith in God.
4. The only money you will ever receive is the money people give you to shut up.
5. I have a beautiful voice and you don't hear me singing on the morning train.
6. If you ever sing on my car again I will rip your face off.
7. Have a blessed day.
I didn't, instead I kept my mouth shut. I turned up my MP3 player and prayed he would shut up soon. I used to like that song too. Now, I don't know if I will ever be able to listen to "Stand by Me" without cringing.
I know that something like this has to have happened to you.
I leave you humming "Silence is Golden."